


Lost & Found

by mea_S



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Character Death???, Drunken Kissing, Feudalism, First Kiss, Gay, Gay Hinata Shouyou, Gay Kageyama Tobio, Guardian Angels, Haikyuu - Freeform, Japan, KageHina - Freeform, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Slash, Romance, Sadness, asanoya is implied???, daisuga is kinda mentioned, kageyama needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23011054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mea_S/pseuds/mea_S
Summary: The disappearance of Hinata Shouyou, five words Kageyama is accustomed to hearing. He’s grieved and cried and longed for his friend to return, but now that it’s been over a year, he thinks maybe Hinata’s disappearance won’t haunt him anymore. But then weird attributes start to occur with Kageyama, all leading back to Hinata, and Kageyama begins to wonder...
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Lost & Found

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy okay so this is my first kagehina fanfic and my first story on ao3 so bear with me it may suck. I just wanted to clear some shit up like the setting is in feudal japan so like if you’re wondering “where’s the volleyball?” or “why don’t they have phones?” or something like that then that’s why. Also, I made this as if they lived in a tiny village called Karasuno, so that’s why somewhere in this oneshot it says “Karasuno village.” Honestly that’s all I can think of that might cause any confusion but like if y’all have questions just comment them or something.

Kageyama knew he wasn’t insane. He knew he wasn’t imagining things like his so called ‘friends’ said that he was. He knew that something strange was happening, and he knew that it was somehow because of Hinata Shouyou.

It had been going on for months, the whole situation. The weird chill that’d traverse up his spine whenever he’d simply utter the name “Hinata Shouyou”, or the images of unruly, orange hair that’d flash through his mind just as he’d start dozing off the sleep. The fact that he’d wake up with tear-stained cheeks hardly went by unnoticed by him, and when he mentioned the odd occurrence to his friends (although they were more acquaintances and peers rather than companions), they all said the same thing.

“Maybe you’re just thinking about him because of the incident.”

And sure, maybe he would’ve believed them, had the incident not happened longer than a year ago. It was over 16 months ago when he and Hinata were walking by the lake bank, when Hinata dared him to a swimming race to the other side of the lake, when he accepted, when they both dove in head-first into the water in only their fundoshi, when Kageyama reached the other side, when he turned back, whooping and yelling his success, when he didn’t see Hinata anymore.

He remembered swimming back and looking for Hinata everywhere, remembered dunking his head underwater and submerging himself to the bottom of the lake only to not see his friend. The panic he felt was indescribable, and in a haze, all he could remember past that was Tanaka finding him and hauling him out of the water despite his protests. Tanaka told Kageyama to rest and that they’d inform the village chief about Hinata’s disappearance when dawn broke, and in spite of how much longer he wanted to keep searching for Hinata, Kageyama gave in.

The next day, just as he had promised, Tanaka took Kageyama to knock at the door to the home of the village chief, the Ukai residence, and when Ukai opened the door, Kageyama explained in a frenzy everything that happened. The race, the water, how he didn’t see Hinata after he won, how he still wasn’t seeing Hinata.

A search party was called on right after that, and everyone in the village was searching for those brown eyes and orange hair until, three months later, Ukai called off the search. Kageyama was furious, and he nearly broke down the front door to Ukai’s house when he banged on it, demanding that he continue the search. He was fuming at first, but in the end he was practically pleading for Ukai to keep looking. He fell to his knees and bowed his head so far that it touched the floor; a beggars bow. It was a type of bow that was below him, that he never wanted to do before in his life, but he found himself doing it anyway for a—a _boy_.

But Ukai refused, letting Kageyama down gently but letting him down nonetheless, and Kageyama went back to his home that could barely be called a home, defeated and alone.

But that was over a year ago. He had gone through all 5 stages of grief before he came to terms with the fact that his confession—the declaration of love that’s been lingering on his tongue—won’t actually pass his lips, because there was no one to tell it to anymore. Hinata was gone, and Kageyama felt incomplete. But that’s that.

But then things started to happen— _strange_ things, and they all led back to Hinata. No matter what theory Kageyama fashioned, he found himself concluding that Hinata was involved in it somehow. Even now, as he walked through the village during sunset, he kept wondering what everything meant. But he couldn’t focus on only his thoughts because he wasn’t alone, for he was walking with not only Nishinoya, but also Asahi.

There was a party, the reason for it; Kageyama couldn’t remember for the life of him, but everyone in the village was required to attend. There was saké and laughter and a bonfire and dancing but Kageyama couldn’t enjoy any of it. He could only wonder, the entire time, what Hinata would’ve been doing if he were there. Maybe he would drink irresponsibly with Tanaka and Nishinoya, or crack jokes with a drunken Asahi and Daichi by the bonfire, or dance the night away with Yachi and Sugawara, or try to encourage Tsukishima to let loose for once and have fun with himself and Yamaguchi. All whilst that would happen, Kageyama could imagine himself sitting by the bonfire, drinking saké and watching Hinata with a stupid smile on his face.

But Hinata wasn’t there, therefore he didn’t have a stupid smile on his face. He just sat by the bonfire, by himself, drinking until his head spun like it did now, watching everyone else have the time of their life.

But then the party came to an end, and Daichi urged Kageyama to go home despite his offer to help clean up. Kageyama’s home wasn’t too far, being by the apothecary shop, but it was still quite the distance to walk. Nishinoya and Asahi’s shared home was along the way so they decided to join Kageyama on his stroll home. Nishinoya was talkative, like he always is, and Asahi felt extra giddy by the alcohol in his system in which it made him talkative as well. Both were talking so much that they hardly seemed to notice that Kageyama hadn’t said a word since they started to walk.

“Man, can you believe it? I never thought Yachi could dance like that!” Nishinoya exclaimed, still reveling about the party. Asahi laughed heartily.

“Neither did I.” He said, voice not as loud as Nishinoya’s but still retaining the same amount of enthusiasm. “What about you Kageyama? Did you have fun?”

Kageyama’s gaze was fixed on the floor, staring so intensely at it like if he stared long and hard enough it would answer all his questions. He didn’t even hear Asahi until his superior called his name again.

“Kageyama-san?”

“Huh, oh sorry.” Kageyama shook his head, as if to shake himself out of whatever daze he was in and drag himself back to reality. “What were you saying?”

“We asked if you enjoyed the party!” Nishinoya’s excited voice came, not seeming to notice Kageyama’s preoccupied behavior.

“Oh, yeah.” He gave a light nod.

Nishinoya didn’t seem to believe him, but he seemed to be in too much of a good mood to want to ruin it by pressing Kageyama with questions which had answers he most likely wouldn’t receive, because he instantly took control of the conversation and led it down a different direction.

“So, what do you think is up with the looks Daichi-san was giving Suga-san when he was dancing? Do you think something’s going on between them?” Nishinoya light-heartedly joked, nudging Asahi, and to that the biggest male in the group let out another hearty laugh.

“Who knows? Maybe Suga is the one keeping Daichi away from home at night.” He commented. He turned to Kageyama to ask for his input on the topic, but when Asahi saw that Kageyama seemed to retreat back into whatever daze he was in before, he dropped it and turned back to Nishinoya.

“Here’s our turn.” Nishinoya said. “See you tomorrow, Kageyama-kun!”

“Oh, right.” Kageyama looked up to meet their gazes. “See you, Noya-san, Asahi-san.” He bowed in respect in their parting, but Nishinoya quickly dismissed it, telling him to let loose, saying that the “night is still young”, before leading off with Asahi, his loud and joyous voice already bouncing off the exterior walls to houses in the alley.

Kageyama watched their backs as they walked away, watching until their figures were no longer decipherable in the dark and their voices were too far to be heard. He then pivoted on his heel, walking, barefoot, and feeling the mud stick between his toes.

‘ _A dip in the water wouldn’t hurt._ ’ He thought, turning so that he was leading himself towards the edge of the village and close to the forest. He raised his chin to look up at the sky, feeling the breeze cool his warm skin, cheeks still red from the alcohol and mind still spinning. He opened his eyes after having closed them, noticing the myriad of colors in the sky.

It’s one of those rare twilights, one where you can see the setting sun and rising moon, both hanging in a pinkish-bluish-yellowish sky. The party maybe would’ve ended past sunset, like most of the Karasuno village’s parties did, but this time it ended earlier. Something about a visit from the mainland, but Kageyama couldn’t care less. If Hinata wasn’t there, why _should_ he care?

He loosened his obi, feeling the breeze flow through his body under his yukata. It’s hot, the summer days were _always_ hot, but Kageyama used to always be able to enjoy it because of Hinata. But since he’s gone, Kageyama could no longer enjoy the hot weather. He seemed to _dread_ it, in fact, and it didn’t help that today was Hinata’s birthday.

“Today of all days…” Kageyama muttered, shaking his head. Maybe that’s why there was a party, to celebrate Hinata’s birthday that is, because today he would’ve turned 19. He honestly had no idea.

Kageyama’s foot got stuck in the mud, and he looked down, brow furrowing as he struggled to remove it. He hadn’t noticed that he had stopped moving, but due to his lack of movement his foot sunk into the mud and now he was stuck. With an annoyed groan, he tried to pull his foot out, and after a minute of struggling and wriggling his foot around, the mud released him with an unattractive _squelch ._

He tried to gain proper footing, but with the slippery mud it’s hard to do so, because next thing he knew it he slipped on an incline and landed flat on his ass. His bum ached slightly from the impact, but he managed to bring himself to his feet to realize that he had landed right where he wanted to be; at the lake where Hinata disappeared.

It took him a moment to step towards it from where he stood, since the last time he was there he was searching for his lost friend, but he swallowed hard in a vain attempt to dissolve the lump that formed in his throat and stepped forward. He took one step, then another, then another, then another, until he was right at the edge of the lake.

He stared at his reflection, looking just as disheveled as he felt, then sighed and sat down on the lake bank. He dipped his bare feet in the water, the cool water nice against his warm skin. He let out a content sigh, edging on a groan, as he leaned back and braced himself on his hands. He threw his head back, stared up at the sky, inhaled the air, then let his eyes flutter shut.

“Kageyama-kun?”

Kageyama stiffened, because he came here alone and there was no one else around but that was definitely a human voice he heard in his ears. His eyes bolted open, and looming over him he saw what he’d been wanting to see for the past year and a half; unruly, orange hair, and curious, brown eyes.

For a moment, he just stared up in shock, mouth agape and eyes wide, but then he blinked and the orange hair and brown eyes weren't there anymore. His head snapped forward, he sat up straight, and at the other side of the lake he could see a small figure, resembling his friend’s small figure.

It’s sitting at the other side of the lake, knees up to its chest and it peers up at Kageyama with a curious expression over its knees. It wears what Hinata was wearing nearly 17 months ago; a hakama, a haori, but no footwear. Kageyama would’ve assumed for that to be Hinata, had there not been two large, black wings, sprouting from the figure’s back. So that’s not Hinata. At least, not the Hinata Kageyama knew, because Hinata’s _never_ had _wings_.

Suddenly, the figure—boy? man? Kageyama didn’t know how to refer to it—lowered its knees and sat cross-legged. It’s wings furled at its back, and it looked at Kageyama with that same curious expression.

Kageyama’s throat went dry, because his head was still woozy from the alcohol and also because he _knew_ his eyes weren’t deceiving him. He knew that there was something at the other side of the lake, looking scarily close to Hinata, but with black wings.

It stood up, and Kageyama pulled his feet out of the water to stand up, but he couldn’t move.

“Eh? Can you see me?” It asked, and Kageyama swallowed hard.

‘ _This isn’t real, Tobio. You’re hallucinating. Go home and go to sleep, it’s just the saké playing tricks on you._ ’ Kageyama thought, but he still couldn’t move himself. He just watched, as if he were in a haze, as the figure became a blur before it was hovering right above him.

It’s wings were stretched out, flapping back in forth to keep him elevated, and Kageyama wondered if this was all just a fever dream. He wondered if maybe he pinched himself, he’d just wake up back in his bed with a hangover and no… _that_ , whatever _that_ is.

“Y-You…” Kageyama managed, “alive?”

It laughed at his adorable confusion, and Kageyama felt remembrance come over him as that joyous, hearty laugh filled his ears.

“H-Hinata?” Kageyama croaked out. Even though he really did love and miss hearing Hinata's laugh, he would be lying if he said that he didn’t have a myriad of questions.

“Yes, Kageyama-kun, it’s me. Well, _almost_ me.” It—( _‘Hinata, that's Hinata,_ ’ Kageyama told himself)—said as his titters trailed off, his wings slowing their pace as he lowered to the floor.

“Almost? Wha- I don’t understand. You disappeared! All of Karasuno thought you were dead!” He cried. He was so bewildered, he could scream.

“ _That_ wasn’t my fault. Sorry about that.” Hinata said, stepping closer to Kageyama and joining him to sit at the lake bank. His wings came down and curled at his back again, and from up close Kageyama realized how remarkably similar they were to that of a crow’s.

Kageyama shook his head. His head was spinning with confusion. “What… what happened to you?” Kageyama asked in a whisper, voice quiet as if he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to ask such a question.

Hinata— _it_ , _they_ , Kageyama didn’t know what to even call it anymore!—lowered his head and sighed. He stared at Kageyama’s reflection, and when Kageyama looked down he realized that it— _he_ , _Hinata_ , arghhh! this is so confusing—was staring at Kageyama’s reflection in the crystal clear water because it didn’t have one.

As if Hinata wasn’t even there.

“I… don’t know. I just remember racing you in this lake and falling behind and suddenly just being held underwater. It was like somebody was holding me down and at first I thought it was you pranking me, but when I finally got up to breathe, you weren’t there. I was just in this white room, and there were these people. I can’t remember their names, but I think it was… it was Oikawa-sama and Ushijima-sama.” Hinata said, staring at the way Kageyama’s reflection undulated with the rippling of the water.

“What’d they say?” Kageyama asked.

Hinata shivered, as if thinking back to the memory was so scary that it made his body have a physical reaction, and Kageyama prepared himself for the worst upon seeing Hinata’s reaction. “They said that… this happened to you. In a past life, I mean.”

Kageyama cocked a brow, watching as Hinata brought his knees up to his chest again. He always did that whenever he was scared, as if he could curl into himself and disappear so that he could avoid any bad problem that came his way. “What happened to me?”

“You… _died_ . Somehow, in a freak accident. In a different universe with dragons and shit. Can you believe it? Dragons!” Hinata let out a dry, humorless laugh. “You died and you were meant to be my guardian angel, but you refused and made a deal with Oikawa-sama so that _I_ could die.”

Kageyama pursed his lips together. “I wanted you to _die_ ?” His heart sank to his stomach at the thought. Whoever he was in his past life, he must’ve been a dick for wanting Hinata to die. Now, all he wanted was for Hinata to _live_ and be by his side again, teasing and mocking his every mode a mirthful lilt to his tone.

“It sounds heartless, I know, and when I first heard it I was also confused. But then I became this,” he stretched out of one of his arms and one wing for emphasis, as if the two were connected, “and I realized why you wanted me to die. It’s because you didn’t want me to suffer like you did, because after I disappeared last year, you were going through so much pain and it hurt me, so much. All I wanted to do was hug you, but I couldn’t.”

Kageyama’s heart ached at the memory. Ah yes, he remembered the months when he stayed locked up in his room, wishing Hinata would just appear at his front door and walk into his beaten down house, laughing right in his face. _‘It was all a prank, and you fell for it. Har-har,_ ’ the boy would say.

Alas, such things didn’t happen, and he was left there, suffering, trembling, crying, wishing whatever entity that had taken Hinata would’ve taken him instead.

“I’m sorry, Kageyama.” Hinata breathed, and Kageyama turned to face Hinata. He rested his cheek on his knees now, his head turned to face Kageyama. “I’m sorry I couldn’t explain everything to you.” He said.

Kageyama shook his head. “So, you aren’t dead?”

“Only half-dead.” Hinata corrected.

Kageyama felt a small smile tug at his lips. “I’ll take it.”

He reached forward, wanting to pull Hinata into his arms and feel his warmth one more time, but his hand went right through Hinata like he was just a cloud of smoke or a figment of Kageyama’s imagination. Hinata shook his head, eyes glowing with tears, and hugged his knees closer to his chest.

“I told you. I can’t hug you. My body… I don’t even have a _body_ anymore.” Hinata admitted, getting choked up, like all he wanted to do was hug Kageyama and feel his warmth and the press of his lips up against his.

“Wait… so how come I can see you now?” Kageyama asked. “And how come you were in my dreams?”

Hinata laughed lightly. “I’m not too sure about that. But sorry if I scared you, about the dreams, I just wanted you to see me one more time.”

“Oh.” Kageyama muttered. “But, this is still you, right? You’re still Hinata?” Kageyama asked.

Hinata smiled and lowered his knees, sitting cross-legged again. “Yup. Just not in the flesh, that’s all.”

Kageyama smiled. “That’s all I need to hear.”

He leaned forward, and he suspected that maybe he’d slip right through Hinata’s body, but his lips instead crash into something just as soft. He let out a quiet noise of surprise, eyes opening to see that Hinata had the same expression of shock on his face as their lips crashed together. 

But Hinata didn’t hesitate, he was never one to really hesitate, because he then pressed his lips harder against Kageyama, still a bit gentle as if he were worried that if he pressed too hard the warmth of Kageyama’s lips would disappear. Kageyama swallowed the noise of surprise that made its way up his throat before he could release it again, not wanting to make a second unappealing noise, and let his eyes flutter shut as his and Hinata’s lips seemed to dance together.

Finally, from lack of breath, Kageyama pulled apart and heaved in a few heavy breaths. Hinata didn’t need to breathe—obviously—so he instead just stared at Kageyama. Kageyama was redder than he was when he first got here—redder than his saké earlier had left him, and Hinata knew that if maybe he were still human with blood, it would be rushing to two particular places on his body right then.

“I-I thought…” Kageyama was speechless. _‘I thought we couldn’t touch,_ ’ he wanted to say, but he couldn’t get the rest of the words out.

“Me too.” Hinata replied, already seeming to know what Kageyama wanted to say.

“But… but does this mean that… you...” Kageyama’s voice trailed off, cheeks turning inexplicably redder as his eyes darted away.

Hinata smiled. Kageyama was still so cute and such a dork, he couldn’t _not_ smile. “Yes, it does. I like you, Kageyama. I’ve been liking you since we were 15, actually.” He said, giggling.

Kageyama looked up, eyes widening just a fraction. “You have?”

Hinata nodded.

Kageyama beamed. “So have I.”

Hinata smiled, standing to his feet. “Then I’m glad for being the guardian angel to someone who, not only do I love, but for someone who also loves me.” He said.

Kageyama’s heart skipped a beat. _Love_. The word felt so wrong and right, he didn’t know if he had the right to utter it or not.

“Thank you, Kageyama-kun, for making this one of the best birthday’s of my life.” Hinata said, springing on his feet and shaking out his limbs.

Kageyama was about to question why Hinata was getting up so soon, but then Hinata’s large wings unfurled and stretched to their full length, and Kageyama clamped his mouth shut. He might never get used to that. Hinata smiled at Kageyama one more time, fondly, although this smile looked like it was veiling something melancholic behind it.

“You’re welcome.” Kageyama replied, still feeling his body involuntarily shrink as Hinata’s black wings began to move.

“I love you, Kageyama-kun.” Hinata said, lip trembling, smile wavering.

“I love you too, Hinata-kun.” Kageyama got out, watching curiously as Hinata’s wings flapped and he rose to the sky. Kageyama continued to watch as Hinata flew high up above him, until he had to crane his neck and raise his chin to its full extent to see Hinata.

A few black feathers fell from Hinata’s wings as they continued to keep him elevated in the sky, and suddenly a cold feeling settled over Kageyama. Not uncomfortable cold, rather, it was more like the type of cool feeling you get after cold water flows down your throat after spending a summer afternoon helping Daichi-san at the stables, or after stepping outside during a summer night with Tanaka-senpai and Nishinoya-senpai when the temperature is just right up against your flushed skin, or after eating a homemade meal cooked up by none other than Sugawara-san himself after you helped him around at the shop.

In shorter terms, it was a _nice_ cool feeling.

To it, Hinata’s eyes fluttered shut, and Kageyama’s did too.

And then Kageyama was waking up at sunrise. 

The sun was peeking over the trees and cutting up into the blue sky, and Kageyama rubbed his eyes sluggishly. His head was throbbing, his skin still felt flushed (although he couldn’t tell if that’s because of his sudden hangover or the warmth that suddenly filled the sky), and he felt weird.

Slowly, he lifted himself up, sitting up on the dirt and realizing that he was no longer by the lake. He was instead curled up by a large rock, and when he stood up he realized that the lake was right in front of him. As he sluggishly made his way over to the bank, he thought, maybe, that last night was a dream. That this was the alcohol playing tricks on his mind, and that Hinata was no guardian angel and that it was just another stupid dream. He collapsed to his knees on the bank, cupping his hands and dipping them into the water before splashing it on his face. He shook his head, his skin sucked the moisture from the water, and he opened his eyes again and looked beside his legs…

to see a number of black feathers, arranged in a certain way to say something in kanji. Kageyama sent a _‘thank you, Ennoshita-san’_ , up into the atmosphere, since Ennoshita had been teaching him how to read and write recently and the only reason why he could decipher the message was thanks to his ‘ _sensei’s_ ’ teaching. He peered down at the message in black feathers again, and it took only a few minutes before he could fully decipher it.

 _大好き_ 、影山。

Kageyama’s heart clenched in his chest. It looked like last night wasn’t a dream after all. Slowly, he raised his head up to the sky, a small, nearly unnoticeable smile tugging on his lips as he muttered his response.

“I love you too, _Hinata Shouyou_.”

-

-

-

Kageyama _knew_ he wasn’t insane. He knew he wasn’t imagining things like his so called ‘friends’ said that he was. He knew that something strange was happening, and he knew that it was somehow because of Hinata Shouyou, the one who is his guardian angel, and the one who stole his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> wow you made it to the end. this is my first time writing something that’s 2000+ words long but it was actually really fun. give me some feedback on what I can improve on cuz I wanna publish a book in the future so every bit of constructive criticism is appreciated. also, my Japanese is literally edging on nonexistent so at the end if you speak fluent Japanese and you read “大好き、影山。” and you’re first instinctual thought was “Christ that’s horrendous,” please let me know so that I can fix it. I wanna hopefully travel to Japan in the future and it doesn’t help if I can’t speak any Japanese so pls just help a sister out.
> 
> okay that’s my schpeal. if you have any questions or if you literally just wanna make fun of my nauseating writing then honestly, im all ears


End file.
